Dealing With Life When Nothing is Clear

We’ve all been asked this question almost every year since pre-kindergarten to high school. By our parents, teachers, and maybe even friends. Curiosity gets the best of us.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I never knew how to answer this question. I've participated in many extracurriculars, sports, and activities that shape the person I am today, but this question still confuses me. Sometimes it feels like I don’t know what I'm best at or if there’s something out in the world I still haven’t discovered. How do you discover your true purpose in life, and how should I know how to get there? Do you believe in destiny?

Well, in reality, we don't always know the answer to everything. Will I become a billionaire? Will I be happy in the future? Can I fulfill my childhood dreams and goals? We're confused, lost, and walking blind into a world of unknown possibilities. We have to take a leap of faith in our own decisions, which ultimately end up as our future. 

In our minds, this uncertainty about the future can also be looked at as indecisiveness, which is all part of self-discovery and growing as a person. As we face unfamiliar situations, confusion can set in, leading to our anxiety increasing. Excessive overthinking can lead to mental exhaustion, making it harder to decide on important choices. The brain’s prefrontal cortex, in the front of our heads, can become overloaded and make it difficult to focus. Sometimes, because of uncertainty, we miss opportunities that prevent individuals from gaining experience and building confidence in their decision-making skills. So by understanding the psychological drivers of indecision, people can use these uncertain moments for personal growth.

Exploring your values and interests supports your self-discovery to guide decisions and define what truly matters to you. Experimenting can show little pieces of the bigger puzzle of your capabilities, which is crucial to discovering who you really are. The American Psychological Association also says that self-discovery helps connect the pieces of your ideal self and real self. 

Even in uncertainty, we can learn to manage life by accepting and working through our indecisiveness. Not everything is within our control, so focusing on what we can control, such as having checklists of routines, can reduce some stress. Journaling daily or having your values laid out can reduce mental cycling in your head, and planning ahead of time for any occasion will help prepare for different scenarios. Remember, it is perfectly fine to be confused about our future and how to achieve our goals in life. Our actions now will determine whether or not we ultimately become our ideal self we wish to be.

References

“What Makes People Indecisive? | Psychology Today.” Www.psychologytoday.com, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/still-procrastinating/202103/what-makes-people-indecisive. 

Santoro, Helen. “The Science of Uncertainty.” Apa.org, 2023, www.apa.org/monitor/2021/11/lab-science-uncertainty.