When Life Gives You Tangerines

A love story? Yes, but not just the kind you would expect. When Life Gives You Tangerines is a story that inspires love, a story that teaches how to love and how love persists in family. I've recently finished watching the 16-episode Netflix K-drama When Life Gives You Tangerines, and I've never felt so deeply connected to a story that I've never had the exact experience with, especially as a Korean American. The story follows the main lead, Oh Ae Sun, who gives up her dreams of becoming a poet to build a family with her childhood crush, Yang Gwansik. What inspired me to make this post was how the show explores motherhood and identity across generations.

Spoiler Warning!

The story unravels with layers of motherhood, first starting with Oh Ae Sun's mother, Jeon Gwang-rye, a Hanyeol (traditional female Korean free-divers). In the entire monologue of Jeon Gwang-rye, she has represented independence and strength, diving into the dangerous ocean trenches to avoid her daughter from matriarchal tradition and ultimately embodying sacrifice. Following Jeon Gwang-rye is Ae Sun. Ae Sun stands as the most powerful maternal figure of all because she isn't just a mother. She is a daughter, a wife, a grandmother, and, most importantly, a woman who seeks self-actualization: realization of potential and fulfillment towards personal growth. When Ae sun becomes a mother to her only daughter, immense shifts in identity are brought up. This show truly highlights all the stages of Erikson's Psychosocial Stages through the powerful lens of motherhood.

Erikson's Psychosocial Stages

• Adolescence

  • Identity vs. Role Confusion - Adolescents explore their identities and values, seeking to find their place in the world. 

  • As a pre-teenager, Ae Sun loses her mother and falls into confusion between her role as a caregiver for her siblings on Jeju Island or as an aspiring poet in the city of Seoul.

  
  

• Young Adulthood (19-40 years):

  Intimacy vs. Isolation - Young adults form intimate relationships and develop the capacity for love and commitment. 

  • Later on, Ae Sun is faced with challenges of security and love. She needs to decide if she can commit to Gwansik and form a relationship with whom she desires, rather than for status and security.

    
    

• Middle Adulthood (40-65 years):

  Generativity vs. Stagnation - Adults focus on contributing to society and raising the next generation, seeking a sense of purpose and legacy. 

  • As a mother, Ae Sun finds purpose through becoming the Chief of Jeju Island, creating a poetry book, and opening a restaurant.

    
    

• Late Adulthood (65+ years):

  Integrity vs. Despair - Older adults reflect on their lives and seek a sense of meaning and acceptance. 

  • Towards the end of her twilight years, Ae Sun realizes that all her life fulfillments came true due to the support of her husband, Gwansik, and she recollects youthful spring days.

In summary, this K-drama opened doors behind what I understood about love and the adversities that everyone faces. Even though I don't share the same socio-cultural-economic background as these characters, the grief, journey to find identity, and fulfillment leave a lingering feeling. I highly recommend this TV show because it dives deep into storytelling scenes that feel raw and deeply human.

Refrences

Orenstein, G. A. (2022, November 7). Erikson’s stages of Psychosocial Development. StatPearls [Internet]. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556096/