The Deep Unease We Harbor in Comparison

“Am I doing well?”

“Do I need to work harder than —?”

“I feel so insignificant compared to —”

We all have our own thoughts on our academic achievements, appearances, status, wealth, and so on. We can unintentionally evaluate ourselves by looking at others' personal worth and judging our own worth and abilities. I know that many people, and especially high school students, think about how to outdo their peers, overpiling stressful extracurriculars, rigorous classes, pressuring clubs, and organizations.  Our appearance, our actions, and personality all make up for what others might think of you, to better understand you, or criticize themselves.

The entire concept can be put in two words: social comparison. This may be interpreted as the process of evaluating one’s abilities, opinions, and personal worth by comparing them to those of others. The standards of comparison can be introduced by society or what we view on social media while scrolling or liking posts from creators who are too young or who look younger than they actually are.

When comparing ourselves negatively to others, our brain reacts by activating the limbic system, which is where the core of the brain is, and is also responsible for handling cognitive functions like problem-solving, logical thinking, and self-control. Negative self-comparison involves mental shortcuts leading to a different perspective of reality, causing you to focus on the negative aspects and not even glance at the positive ones. This can lead to emotional draining and hurt your mental well-being as well. In particular, for anyone, comparing oneself will lead to a certain way our identities are formed.

Overall, everyone is different and unique in their own ways. We all have different hobbies, characters, and passions. An extroverted, outdoorsy person who has straight A’s might look at someone who’s an introverted, artsy person who plays games all day and think, “Wow, they are so lucky to be happy with how they look”, while the introverted person thinks, “I wish I had those grades.” Whether we stay at home all day, shop for trendy pieces of clothing or food, or listen to music, we all have what makes us valuable and special. Even though not comparing yourself is difficult in a competitive situation, focusing on yourself will ultimately win in the long run. Concentrating on yourself and prioritizing what you need is crucial for self-development throughout our lives. 

References

Psychology Today. “Social Comparison Theory.” Psychology Today, 2019, www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/social-comparison-theory.

Kedia, Gayannée, et al. “Brain Mechanisms of Social Comparison and Their Influence on the Reward System.” Neuroreport, vol. 25, no. 16, 12 Nov. 2014, pp. 1255–1265, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4222713/#, https://doi.org/10.1097/WNR.0000000000000255.